Throughout our lives as women, we go through different stages depending on our hormonal levels .
In the perimenopausal phase – the stage before we stop menstruating – our hormones begin to decrease and this is when we start to experience the first symptoms associated with premenopause, such as hot flashes, fatigue or insomnia. This happens because our body gradually reduces the production of estrogen levels, which are so important for our hormonal development and our sexual life.
When we enter menopause , these hormone levels are very low, so the decrease in estrogen can also cause another of the most well-known symptoms of premenopause: vaginal dryness. When our vagina is dry, it is normal for sexual relations to cause pain, itching and become very uncomfortable.
Menopause is not the end of sexual life, and sex should not focus only on penetration because there are many other activities that can be pleasurable.
Five false myths about sex and menopause
Sex ends at menopause.
You have to be young and beautiful to enjoy sex.
With menopause and aging, sexual desire or the frequency of sexual activity always decreases.
There is a "normal" frequency of sex.
Satisfactory sexual experience is only through genital contact and intercourse.
What can we do if libido decreases?
The hormonal decline causes vaginal atrophy and also affects the mental and emotional level , so it is common not to think about sex as before. In addition, dryness and lack of lubrication influence sexual relations and if they are not pleasurable, it is normal for interest to decrease.
There are treatments to combat these problems and in some cases hormonal treatments are the key when the lack of desire is due to this cause. Besides, desire is a more mental issue than it seems...if you think you lack motivation, perhaps you should change some habits in your relationship.
Feeling sexy is an attitude
Socially, after the age of 50, a woman's sexual attractiveness is considered to diminish because her physique no longer meets established standards... especially if she gains weight. Unfortunately, this is the consequence of the cult of the body and youth, which generates so much pressure today.
We must take care of ourselves at every stage of life, but more so in this one... accepting ourselves and adapting to changes ; we must be positive and think that sensuality is due to many factors: our attitude, our way of speaking, our style... and above all our confidence... we must feel good about ourselves, at any age.
To combat vaginal dryness
There are various innovative treatments that promote tissue repair and regeneration and can help improve muscle tone, sensitivity, appearance and functionality of the genital area. From moisturising creams and gels that include a small dose of hormones, techniques that apply lasers locally to stimulate collagen production and improve local tension and lubrication, intradermal microinjections of hyaluronic acid and more… It is also important to take care of the pelvic floor and go to a physiotherapy specialist if necessary. Sometimes just with exercises we can notice a great improvement.
Improve orgasms
Vaginal atrophy can affect sexual relations and to improve orgasms it is therefore necessary to treat the effects it produces in the genital area and increase personal well-being and pleasure. A comprehensive assessment of each case is important, as there are many factors that can affect this aspect of sexuality; if you have problems of this type, it is best to consult a specialist in menopause and/or sexuality.
Take care of your diet and lead a healthy life
The risk of cardiovascular disorders increases after menopause: blood pressure and cholesterol levels may rise. Bone and muscle loss also increases, and there is a greater risk of developing cancer and diabetes.
It is therefore important to follow a healthy diet and avoid eating foods rich in salt, processed foods, sausages, snacks, etc. You should also avoid drinking alcohol and especially tobacco, which has a toxic effect . Exercising regularly helps improve muscle tone and reduce the loss of muscle mass, reduces stress and generates the production of endorphins, which provide well-being.
Keep in mind that impact sports, such as running, can affect the pelvic floor.
Recommendations to continue enjoying sex
Exercise your vagina and all the pelvic muscles . In order to strengthen them and prevent atrophy of the vaginal tissues, there is a wide variety of exercises that are both interesting and useful, including Kegel exercises, pelvic floor exercises, biofeedback exercises, hypopressive exercises, vaginal cones, Chinese balls or the vaginal exerciser.
Encourage sexual encounters in which you make your fantasies come true and let your imagination run wild . It's a good time to keep experimenting and try new things that you might start to like, even if you didn't think you did before.
Buy lubricants that solve vaginal dryness. Encourage communication with your partner. This will help you feel free to express what is affecting you physically or psychologically in some way, and it will even help you identify changes in the couple's dynamic that are occurring so you can deal with them together.
Psychological consultation as a solution to your doubts . If your partner cannot or does not know how to help you where and when you need it, remember that you can always go to a psychologist who is an expert in the subject or, even, it would be a good option to go as a couple to help you manage your sexuality and the changes that may have appeared with menopause.
Menopause doesn't have to put a damper on your desire to fully enjoy sex . It's not the end of your sexuality, but the beginning of a new stage, and like all beginnings, it's usually accompanied by a good dose of exploration and new discoveries.
It is important to talk to your partner
Talking to your partner about your concerns about sex can strengthen your relationship. Some topics you could discuss include:
What you like and what you don't.
Moments when you feel most relaxed
What positions are most comfortable?
Explain to him if you need more time to get excited than before.
Talk about any concerns you may have about how your body is changing and how you feel.
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Ways to enjoy sex other than vaginal penetration, such as oral sex or a massage
If you still don't feel well, don't hesitate to consult a therapist or sexologist for individual or couples therapy if the changes in your sex life bother you and you see that they may affect your emotional relationship.
Safe sex
Remember that you should continue using condoms after menopause if you are not in a monogamous relationship, since when having sex, condoms are the best alternative to prevent an STD (sexually transmitted disease).
Because men do not need to ejaculate to transmit or become infected with some STDs, make sure he puts a condom on before it comes into contact with your vagina, mouth, or anus.
During menopause, you may be more likely to get an STD from having sex without a condom because vaginal dryness, which is more common during menopause, can cause small cuts or tears during sex, which increase your chances of getting an STD.
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