Being a grandmother for the first time

Becoming a grandmother for the first time not only marks a new stage in family life, but often coincides with another transformative time in a woman's life: menopause . This period of physical and emotional change can make the news of the arrival of a grandchild have even deeper meaning.

Amidst the challenges of menopause, being a grandmother offers a unique opportunity to rediscover family love from a renewed perspective, facing both the challenges and the joys of this new stage of life.

Not all grandmothers react the same

Ideals and perfect relationships need to be erased. Not all grandmothers will react in the same way to this new news and this new role, just like the widespread idea that being pregnant is a wonderful state, and perhaps for some women it is, but for others it is not. Some enter into a state of competition with their daughter, just as others do not allow their grandchildren to call them grandmothers.

Without a doubt, being a grandmother, consciously or unconsciously, reactivates a reality: the passing of time . You begin to go through a process in which you must assimilate that it is your children who now have the possibility of forming their own family. This assigns their parents, and now grandparents, a new role that places them in the place of the elders. While joy coexists with surprise, it is essential to respect the wishes of the new parents regarding the time and place appropriate for telling everyone the news . It is also essential to keep to oneself the fears and doubts that may arise regarding the future of this new family.

I'm going to be a grandmother!

Becoming a grandmother is a natural process, as your children have grown up and are now the parents of their own children. Sometimes we only focus on the figure of the grandchild, but there is another approach that must be analyzed: the feelings that some first-time grandmothers may have, as they have to assimilate that their children are going to be parents and, therefore, have grown up and are forming their own family.

You also have to accept that the baby will become a part of you, but not in the same way as your children, since you play a different role. Once you accept this situation, the baby will give you the opportunity to be responsible and to love, too, in a different way.

It is important to note that first-time grandmothers, at first, pamper their grandchildren in a way that inspires love for their children, and as the days go by, that love is consolidated and defined according to the baby. Therefore, it is like an extension of the love for one's own children .

On the other hand, you have to understand that you have a very important role for your children, “accompanying them in the work of parents ”. Your children need you, they are first-time parents and you must be there. It is a necessary vital process, because your experience is the constant help for them. We could say that love is distributed in two ways, both to grandchildren and to children.

Being a mother again

When a woman becomes a grandmother, a new stage begins for her , “ a second motherhood ” . It is a very special moment for you and for many women, as a new encounter of very different and unique sensations occurs. It is the moment to rediscover aspects of life with the help of your grandchildren.

In other words, second motherhood is the time to love from a different perspective that you will never forget.

Grandmothers have been mothers before, and are full of advice, tricks and very enriching anecdotes.

Tips to be the best grandmother

When your children announce to you that they are expecting a baby and, therefore, you are going to become grandparents, fear also appears. So we have created a list of 8 tips to become a super grandmother by building a quality and lasting relationship with your grandchild.

1. Put on your best smile : After the news, it is normal for a host of feelings to come to you, but you must not forget that it is good news. Control and work on happiness as the main driving force of your new life as a grandmother.
2. You have to put aside your prejudices : It is difficult to avoid assumptions, comparisons, tastes or preferences of the baby. However, try to minimize this period and wait for your grandchild without such consolidated expectations. This point is very important, since it can unintentionally generate anxiety in our role as grandparents.
3. Make time : It is very important that you spend time with your grandchild, as your relationship will grow. You have to understand that children grow very quickly and it is in those first years that this indestructible bond is formed.
4. Make time for yourself: One of the mistakes that experts on the elderly point out the most is the emotional and personal dependence of many grandparents on their grandchildren. Avoid disconnecting completely from your friends, your hobbies, your routines and habits. Everything is compatible, if you commit to a rational organization of time. You need to disconnect and enrich yourself without constantly depending on your grandchild.
5. Make the most of your grandchild : Many grandparents say that raising their children has nothing to do with raising their grandchildren. It is a new stage that you have to enjoy, because they are not your children, and the role you play is totally different. In fact, as a study published in Indivisa: Bulletin of studies and research points out , many grandparents become accomplices, playmates and transmitters of values ​​for their grandchildren. However, it is essential to maintain a balance between respect for the authority of the parents and the active participation of the grandmother.
6. Being present without invading : It is difficult, at first, to adapt to the new dynamic. Being there for a little while or a lot. Calling or stopping by the house directly. The truth is that, although everyone is a beginner, the baby's parents must decide what is most convenient for them.
7. Permission to make mistakes: Grandparents have already been parents who raised children who are now going through the stage that they went through some time ago, so they may think they know what is best for their grandchildren. But, just as their obligations are limited with respect to them, they should not determine what to do because conflicts can arise when grandparents want to make decisions about their grandchildren without placing themselves in the generational role that corresponds to them. To maintain healthy relationships, it is essential that each one respects the autonomy and space of the child's parents .
8. When in doubt, always ask : It is very common, during the first period, to call to find out how the baby is, if he/she ate enough, if he/she is sleeping. Specialists recommend asking parents how they feel and what they need , knowing that they are going through a different stage, with new challenges and, without a doubt, less hours of sleep, and that they need, in turn, to be cared for.

Rediscovering Yourself in Menopause: Wellbeing and Energy for this New Stage

Menopause is a transitional stage that brings with it many changes, both in the body and in the mind. In the midst of these challenges, becoming a grandmother can bring a new source of hope and motivation. Although it is a process that can awaken fears and mixed emotions, it also allows for a deep connection with grandchildren and an opportunity to embrace a "second motherhood" from wisdom and experience.

To face this stage with greater well-being, Madequa supplements can be a key ally . Their products are formulated with 100% natural ingredients, at effective doses to help balance the body and mind during menopause, providing support to manage the physical and emotional changes experienced. By incorporating Madequa , you will feel more energetic, with greater well-being, which will allow you to fully enjoy this new stage of life.

If you are already on this beautiful journey or are about to begin it, enjoy this moment to the fullest, knowing that it is an opportunity to grow, rediscover yourself and share unforgettable moments with your loved ones.

If you are already a grandmother, you will surely have identified with this post, and if you are not yet, but you are about to be… We hope you enjoy it to the fullest!

References

Lobo RA, Gompel A. Management of menopause: a view towards prevention. Lancet Diabetes Endocrinol . 2022;10(6):457-470. doi: 10.1016/S2213-8587(21)00269-2.

Santoro N, Randolph JF Jr. Reproductive hormones and the menopause transition. Obstet Gynecol Clin North Am. 2011;38(3):455-66. doi: 10.1016/j.ogc.2011.05.004.

10 Tips to be a Super Grandma. Indasec. https://www.indasec.com/10-tips-to-be-a-super-grandma/

Planillo, A.H. Grandfathers, grandmothers, grandsons and granddaughters. The child's point of view. Indivisa: Bulletin of studies and research, 2004. https://dialnet.unirioja.es/descarga/articulo/1043224.pdf

García, CN, & Vega, CV Grandparent-grandchild relationships: an approach to the role of the grandfather. Society and Utopia. Journal of Social Sciences , 2013. https://estaticos.qdq.com/swdata/files/619/619320697/relacionesabuelosnietos.pdf

Elena Sanz . Being a grandmother for the first time. Better with Health. 2023. https://mejorconsalud.as.com/abuela-por-primera-vez/