What is “empty nest syndrome”?

Empty nest syndrome in psychology is the set of thoughts and emotions that parents experience when their children leave home; it is an emotional response to the absence of the adult child who leaves home.

Each person can experience empty nest syndrome according to their personality characteristics. Parents usually feel that their children no longer need them, and feelings of sadness, loneliness or emptiness appear, as well as a feeling of loss of meaning in one's own life.

Why does it happen?

Mothers and fathers who experience empty nest syndrome usually do so for three main reasons.

The first of these is due to a feeling of loneliness, after all, they have spent at least the last 16 or 17 years with their children in the same home .

One of the main reasons in recent years why children tend to spend more time with their parents is the lack of economic stability... the longer they live together, the more difficult it is to overcome empty nest syndrome.

However, another reason could be a lack of self-realization , which often occurs in those parents who have focused their lives entirely on their children, leaving aside other aspects of their own lives.

And the third reason: problems in the relationship . Sometimes, couples find a certain stability because of their children. But once they leave home, the couple is not able to live together, or they lose that thing that made them have something in common and that united them.

When can the empty nest appear?

Each case is different, but there are family situations in which the attachment to the children is greater or there are particular situations in the relationship.

Single-parent families : Caregivers who take care of all tasks (emotional and material) alone tend to experience the loss of their child more severely.

Very close relationship with children : Especially in symbiotic relationships with a lot of connection and reciprocal support (the caregiver for the child and vice versa).

When you have many children : Especially when there are several children and they all leave within a short period of time, the impact will be greater.

Greater responsibility on one parent : In the case of two-parent families, for example, the caregiver who has been most involved in caring for the children is also the one who is most likely to suffer from empty nest syndrome.

Little room for personal development : If during the previous years the person who may suffer from the syndrome has spent a great deal of time with their children and has not been able to cultivate other areas of their life, the risk will increase significantly.

High levels of worry and fear : People who tend to worry and anticipate dangerous situations are also more likely to suffer the separation of their loved ones by feeling more unprotected and also by fearing more for the state of others who move away.

Parental life history : The family history that the caregivers themselves have had has a very marked influence on how we relate to separations, distance, abandonment and loss.

Distance : The further away the place the child moves to, the more likely he or she will suffer from empty nest syndrome, since the perception of accessibility, some fears and other variables are increased.

Symptoms

Empty nest syndrome is not something that all parents experience, however, for those who do develop it, the symptoms have common features.

Sadness, loneliness and emptiness

When parents have filled some emotional gaps with their children or children in their care. This emptiness or sadness is part of the cycle of grief in the face of attachment.

Loss of meaning or purpose in life

In certain homes, there is a tendency to have children in the hope of not being left alone in old age, when the truth is that it is a selfish attitude to think that they will stay at home forever.

Changes in routine

Daily routines that once revolved around children's needs and activities now need to be adjusted, which can lead to confusion and stress.

Anxiety

When their children are absent, some parents lose the meaning of life, which generates a state of constant boredom and pushes them to feel anxious.

Self-perception of non-usefulness

Few things make us feel as useful and valuable as helping others, and in particular our children and family members, and eliminating part of these tasks suddenly can be an adaptive challenge.

Worry

As children embark on their own lives and make independent decisions, parents may feel anxious and worried about their well-being and safety.

Intrusive memories

Past memories, usually happy or of high value, easily appear, as does the false belief that every past moment was always better.

Are empty nest syndrome and menopause related?

Menopause and empty nest syndrome are two events that often overlap in women's lives. This coincidence can create a series of emotional challenges that require attention and support.

Menopause is associated with a decrease in the production of sex hormones such as estrogen and progesterone due to the loss of ovarian function. These hormonal changes can cause a variety of stressful physical and emotional symptoms.

Managing both empty nest syndrome and menopause can be challenging, especially when these transitions occur simultaneously. Taking a holistic approach that encompasses physical, emotional, and mental well-being is essential. Here are some strategies that can help you address both aspects effectively:

You should take better care of yourself

Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being. This includes maintaining a balanced diet, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and practicing stress management techniques such as meditation or yoga.

Open communication

Talk to your partner, children, and other loved ones about what you are experiencing. Open communication can help strengthen relationships and provide mutual support during this time of change.

Explore new interests

Take advantage of this stage of your life to explore new passions and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help you find a new purpose and sense of identity outside of the role of parent.

Seek professional support

Don't hesitate to seek help from a therapist if you're struggling to adjust to these changes. A health professional can offer you tools and strategies to manage your emotions and navigate this transition more effectively.

Consider treatment options

If you are experiencing severe menopausal symptoms, such as intense hot flashes or significant mood swings, speak to your doctor about the treatment options available to you. This may include Menopausal Hormone Therapy or other more natural menopause pills like those from Madequa . They contain a combination of 100% natural ingredients that can help balance hormones and reduce menopausal symptoms. They also have different packs designed to address each of the stages of menopause: premenopause , perimenopause , and postmenopause . If you don't know what stage of menopause you are in, you can take our test to find out .

Focus on the present

Accept that change is a natural part of life and focus on living in the present moment rather than regretting the past or worrying about the future. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness can help you find peace and balance amidst these changes.

Connect with others

Look for support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences. Sharing your concerns and experiences with others can provide comfort and mutual support.

Empty nest syndrome and menopause are natural experiences that, while challenging, can be effectively managed through a holistic approach to health. Including natural menopause pills like Madequa , along with proper diet, exercise, and emotional support, can make this transition more bearable and ultimately an opportunity for a fresh start.

It is important to remember that every woman is unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another, so it is always advisable to consult with a health professional before starting any treatment or lifestyle change.

References

Mahmoudpour A, Ferdousi Kejani K, Karami M, Toosi M, Ahmadboukani S. Cognitive flexibility and emotional self-regulation of the elderly with Empty nest syndrome: Benefits of acceptance and commitment therapy. Health Sci Rep 2023;6(7):e1397. doi:10.1002/hsr2.1397.

Kabiri M, Namdari K, Abedi A. Psychological Resilience Level after Cognitive-Behavior Therapy in Old People with Empty Nest Syndrome - A single-case Experimental Design. Clin Gerontol. 2023;46(3):446-456. doi:10.1080/07317115.2022.2108361

Abreu ACG, Alves MS, Zuchelo LTS, Santos SVD, Noll PRES, Baracat EC, Soares Júnior JM, Sorpreso ICE. Full and empty nest syndromes in women in the climacteric period. Rev Assoc Med Bras (1992). 2022;68(1):109-117. doi: 10.1590/1806-9282.20210830.

Carmona González, E., Martínez Suárez, GF, Niño Jiménez, LA, Rodríguez Barragán, Á. J., & Sierra Puerto, P.S. Relationship styles and coping of couples in the transition from empty nest to adulthood . 2008

Lugones Botell, M. The climacteric and the empty nest syndrome in the sociocultural context . Cuban Journal of General Comprehensive Medicine, 2001, 17(2), 206-208.