How can I combat my negative thoughts?

Feb 01, 2024Mar Fondevila Cornado0 comments

They can damage your relationship, harm your work relationships or damage your social life.

Negative thinking can become a dangerous habit. Thoughts sink into your mind and stay there until you take action to get rid of them.

And how can I combat my negative thoughts?... When you start thinking negatively, it can be tempting to try to force those thoughts out of your head, try to make them go away and banish them forever… but this approach often backfires.

Fighting those negative thoughts can actually reinforce that thought pattern making things worse – sometimes the harder you try not to think about something, the more you end up thinking about it.

To get rid of negative thoughts you need to try a different approach, something that will help you clear your mind once and for all .

What are negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts are thoughts or beliefs that have a pessimistic, destructive, or discouraging connotation . They are ideas that tend to focus on the negative, the bad, or possible failures, rather than focusing on positive aspects or solutions. Negative thoughts can arise in various situations in life, such as facing challenges, experiencing failures, dealing with stressful situations, or dealing with negative emotions.

These thoughts are often automatic and can generate a series of negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, anger or frustration . They can also affect the way we perceive ourselves, others and the world in general.

There are several types of negative thoughts that can manifest in different ways. Here are some of the most common types:

Overgeneralization : This is when you take a specific negative experience and generalize it to all situations. For example, if you do poorly in a job interview and conclude that “I’ll never get a job.”

Mental filtering : This involves focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation, ignoring or dismissing the positive aspects. For example, if you receive several compliments on your work, but you focus only on one negative criticism.

Catastrophic thinking : This involves anticipating the worst in future situations. You imagine extreme negative scenarios and exaggerate the negative consequences. For example, thinking that you will fail an exam and that will completely ruin your future.

Personalization : excessively attributing responsibility for a negative event to yourself, even when other factors are involved. You blame yourself for everything that goes wrong and feel responsible for other people's problems.

Mind reading : Assuming you know what others are thinking without having clear evidence. You believe that others are judging you negatively or have negative intentions toward you, even without concrete evidence.

Negative labeling : Applying negative labels to yourself or others based on a mistake or negative characteristic. For example, if you make a mistake at work and tell yourself, “I am a complete failure.”

“All or nothing” thinking : seeing things in extreme terms, without nuance or intermediate possibilities. If you don’t achieve something perfectly, you consider it a complete failure. You don’t acknowledge progress or partial results.

It is important to note that these types of thoughts are a normal part of the human experience and that we all experience these types of thoughts at some point.

However, if negative thoughts are persistent, excessive, or significantly interfere with quality of life, we may be facing a mental health problem, such as depression or anxiety.

Why can't I stop thinking (negatively)?

A restless or thought-filled mind can be a common experience for many people, there are some reasons why your mind won't shut up or stay still, these could be:

Stress : Having stress in your daily life and constantly living worried can cause this mental agitation and why you cannot control your mind.

Anxiety : Anxiety can make your mind constantly think about bad things or worry excessively, some anxiety symptoms such as rumination and hypervigilance are factors that keep the mind busy.

Stimulation : If you have constant stimulation, your mind may be full of distractions and stimuli such as good or bad news, or even social media videos that warn of things to happen; overstimulation can affect your mind.

Thought patterns : You may have constant negative or self-critical thoughts about yourself that are in constant dialogue in your mind and this could affect your mental well-being.

How can I control my mind?

Having a restless mind can be uncomfortable when we carry out our daily activities, so we explain some techniques to control your mind or calm it:

Try to postpone the thought

When you try to suppress a thought to calm your mind, the effect you generate is that that thought becomes more intense , but if you try to postpone that thought that threatens your peace, the effect is positive. Assign a time to it: for example, you can tell yourself “in 30 minutes I will think about this to solve it and not now when I have to go to a meeting.”

That way you'll avoid suppression and getting stuck, and you'll worry when you actually give yourself the space to observe what you're thinking and see what you can do.

Develop self-acceptance

Acceptance isn't about resignation. It's about acknowledging the thoughts, knowing they're there, and letting them go.

If you have a worry, accept that it is there, that it comes to give you a message, and it is not here to stay forever. Thank the thought for alerting you and learn to identify when it is a worry based on reality and when it is something that does not deserve your attention.

Practice meditation

When you're wondering how to calm your mind, turn to meditation. This tool is similar to acceptance, it's about cultivating a non-judgmental and compassionate attitude toward your thoughts.

Cultivate gratitude to calm your mind

Gratitude will help you feel happy and satisfied. To cultivate gratitude, focus your attention on everything you have to be thankful for: people, situations, opportunities, etc.

When you are grateful, your perspective changes and so does your vision, which ends up having an effect on your thoughts as well. We recommend that you keep a notebook with you and write down lists of things you are grateful for... in moments when you feel down, you can refer to that list and remember what you wrote down.

Develop self-confidence

Thinking positively about yourself will help you develop positive beliefs. Recognizing the good characteristics that each of us has helps us develop self-confidence and self-control. This way, we will be able to perform better in different areas and feel good about ourselves.

If we have repetitive thoughts related to self-criticism, by developing self-confidence we will have evidence to know that it is just a thought and that we really do have good characteristics.

Remember that having a mind that is constantly thinking is a sign that you might be going through a situation that makes you uncomfortable…, if this is the case, it is best to consult a health professional.

How can I distract my mind?

If you can't control your mind and you're looking to distract it from daily problems, here are a series of activities that can help distract your mind:

Do physical activities : running, doing yoga, playing a sport, having some healthy competition can clear your mind and distract it from daily problems.

Hobbies : If you have any hobbies like reading, studying, playing video games, painting, playing an instrument, you can do it to explore your creativity and distract your mind.

Meditation : One of the activities that most distracts the mind and calms the mind can be practicing meditation, thus driving away the negative thoughts that invade your mind.

Socialize : If you are a person who is constantly alone or who does not interact with people, try to go out with a friend, find a way to distract yourself and talk about your experiences with that person.

Walks : Many times walks can help you clear your mind and erase those negative thoughts you have.